Through the Fire and Flames
by SashFlash345
Summary: Russia has finally come to the realization that he has become a monster, and now he has regret. This regret in turn, will drive him to go to the very last resort. Small RoChu!


**A/N: I love dramatic stories haha. This idea came out of nowhere in my head today, and I had to actually go with it! So the story is Russia's POV, if it is hard to tell here for the beginning. Just putting that out there!  
**

**The song is Through the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce, I REALLY recommend listening to it like before or during the song, or after, whatever you wish to do. But it's a very good song!  
**

**So I hope you enjoy a little bit of Russia drama and let me know what you think! If you desire, that's up to you. But I would love to know! :D  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia, or the song.  
**

* * *

**Through the Fire and Flames**

''_On a __cold__ winter morning_

_In the time before the light_

_In flames of death's eternal reign_

_We ride towards the fight"_

All I can do now is leave…flee from the stolen room of the United States government, the room we have taken over. The nation we are now taking over. Now that is what I do, leave. The moment I leap out of my seat, all of the officials and my boss turn to look at me. Like I am insane. As if I need a reminder. My feet land back down hard and I run the moment they do. I ignore the angry and demanding voices behind me, commanding me to go back. Threatening me. Footsteps echo out behind me, but I am faster. Of course I am. I am a nation. Their nation. I resist the urge to scream back at them.

So I just fled, my long coat and scarf flying out behind me. I cannot do this anymore. Not any longer. I do not care what the United States has done to deserve getting the holy hell nuked out of him. I do not care that we are in the middle of a huge war. He only fought back because I hit him first. And for the first time, in a long time…I am done killing people…

"_When the darkness has fallen down, _

_And the times are tough all right  
The sound of evil laughter falls _

_Around the world tonight"_

I throw myself down, hidden behind a rustic stairwell that appears to be hardly ever used. The politicians dash right by, searching for me. I will not let them succeed. My hands cover my ears, my face flinching as I hear their voices. Their harsh voices. I remember so many tortured screams because of them. It will never end the screams continue on as the war explodes all over…I can never escape what I have done. Who I have hurt. Who I have killed. Many nations do not believed in letting the past haunt them…but that is not the case for me…

The power has gone to my head. The many heads in my God forsaken nation…Why did I let this happen? Why have I killed so many? My fingers dig into my hair, nails pressing into my head, palms pressed hard against my ears. Make it stop…America…China…why could they not stop me in time…? Because I became the monster that I am now known as…

"_Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel, _

_Through the wastelands evermore,  
The scattered souls will feel the hell, _

_Bodies wasted on the shores"_

As soon as those bastards are far from me, I hurry out of my hiding spot and make a run for the doors. The moment I shove them open, I regret it.

The fire and explosions reign down over his land. I wish desperately to feel it in my own chest, to make me want to collapse and curl up in agony, but I cannot. As ready as I am to end this, I cannot simply fall to my knees like this. Not here.

My eyes scan the blackening sky, searching for something, anything, which I can place even a little bit of hope in. I have never feared death. Until now. Nothing helps me, and I look back down at the battle field. How long has it been…since a battle was fought like this? Face to face? Tanks to tanks? The Royal Air Force and the American's Air Force spiraling through the smog filled skies, counter-attacking any of my fighter jets. They are putting up the best fight they can.

Along the destroyed streets and collapsed buildings, bodies lay everywhere. Many of them in pieces, blown apart by my once allies, so long ago…

"_On the blackest plains in hell's domain,_

_We watch them as we go  
In fire and pain, _

_And once again we know"_

The fire hurts…hurts so bad…and I know that I deserve the pain that I am receiving. But where is he…? And the other…? The two men who I must find, before I can no longer stand…

My legs carry me forward, down the cracked steps, into the battle. I find it hard to breathe the moment I hit the bottom and the smoke fills my lungs. Where are they? They must be here…they must. My eyes burn and sting, desperate to find them. Where…?

"There he is!" A familiar voice cuts through the battle. I pause a moment, my confused brain lying to me that maybe, maybe, it is one of them. But no…It is Germany. He has found me among the mess. I look around for him, and after a moment, I find him. He is standing on one of his tanks, sent over to help America. One of his arms is outstretched, pointing accusingly at me. Soldiers near him turned automatically and open fire on me.

"_So now we fly ever free  
We're free before the thunderstorm  
On towards the wilderness our quest carries on  
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight  
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls"_

My arms pull up and cover my face, my body turning without a second thought and fleeing away. I cannot be shot down. Not yet. "RUSSIA!" The German screams after me, his deep and ever-loud voice carrying surprisingly far through the streets. That drew so much more attention to me than I would have liked. Bullets shower all around me, some making painful contact with my body and many more missing me by centimeters.

I make my legs move faster, lowering my arms to help myself run quicker, head down. They follow me, coming from the sides and forming a long line, chasing me, shooting at me. Explosions rock everything to the left and the right, creating a never ending smoke and dust cloud. I keep charging through it with high hopes that maybe, I will find either of them. I have to.

"_So far away we wait for the day  
For the lives all so wasted and gone  
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days  
Through the fire and the flames we carry on"_

It almost felt like slow motion. I felt like I would never be able to get through this smoke and fire. My coat felt much to hot, my scarf almost constricting. One of the bullets finally gets me in the back of the leg, right below the knee. I let out a throaty cry and fell myself being thrown forwards, thrusting my hands out to catch myself. My palms graze the ground and cut open instantly. Seconds after, my face takes a hard impact on the ground, my nose most definitely crunching. I lay like that, my broken face pressed into the ground, the soldiers hurrying to gather around me and kill me once and for all.

No…no not yet! I cannot die yet!

My scraped hands come back up and slams down on either side of my head, pain shooting up my palms and wrists. I ignore it. My arms work to shove myself up, succeeding as I manage to push myself up onto my knees, blood running down from my nose, over my already bleeding lips, and off my chin. I turned a bit and look back, seeing the soldiers advancing, guns already firing again.

My eyes widen and I find it in me to leap to my feet, staggering backwards, arms swaying to keep myself balanced. They may be much shorter than I…but they are most definitely not afraid. Not one bit. Not now.

"_As the red day is dawning  
And the lightning cracks the sky  
They'll raise their hands to the heavens above  
With resentment in their eyes"_

I let out a slight noise, wondering if this weird, sinking feeling in my chest was fear. I have never felt fear before. I was always the cause of fear. Fear is foreign to me…and now I think I may understand fear.

With a sharp turn on my heel, I wheel and take off once more, hearing all of the shouts behind me. There are thousands, and thousands of men and women battling, and this certain squad is the only one that is so desperate to take me down right here, right now. Germany is still leading them. The squad is expanding though…as the soldiers that are not mine realize, that I am here. And I am vulnerable.

That is, until, a certain British led plane comes swooping down at me. I duck just in time to keep my head on my body and whirl around, watching as the plane arcs back up into the sky. My ears are ringing terribly from the sound waves and the plane turns, coming right back at me. I can see Britain in the pilot seat, his hands on the gun controls. I shake my head almost in disbelief, watching the plane come at me head on.

Hell.

This time, I throw my body sideways into a ditch on the side of the road, the wings just barely missing my shoulder. An explosion of fire power comes from the guns on the jet and Britain takes the plane back up higher, having lost me for the moment.

"_Running back from the mid-morning light  
There's a burning in my heart  
We're banished from a time in a fallen land  
To a life beyond the stars"_

Once I am out of the ditch, my quest continues. I am headed in a different direction, having lost the kill-driven squad back there, where they too had taken cover from Britain's near-kamikaze. He is insane. But…not as insane as I…

Suddenly…I see him. America. He sees me at the same moment and our eyes lock. Baby blue against amethyst. Anger, to regret.

"YOU BASTARD!" His voice cuts through to me, reaching me before he does. And he comes very fast. A fist connects with my jaw, sending me flying. I hit a lone wall that was once a full building and slide down onto the ground, shaking my head a bit and peering up at him. He lingers over me, that once childish face contorted so angrily, so full of hatred. Who can blame him?

I rise up, towering over him now. "America. Listen to me."

"Why would I ever listen to you?! You insane, twisted, evil moron!" He screams up at me, practically spitting the words.

I look into his eyes. Surely he can see it in mine. That I have given up. That I am done. "America…It is over." I tell him in a quieter tone of voice.

His eyes narrow and he gives me a disgusted look. "It is most certainly not over! What makes you think it's over?"

I nod a bit and incline my head. "The bell is tolling, America. The end bell." He gives me a confused look. My next words have him reeling. "I relinquish my victory, unto you, United States of America. My enemy. And my old ally."

"_In your darkest dreams see to believe  
Our destiny is time  
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight"_

"You will not just give up your fight!" He shouts, backing away quickly. "I know you more than anyone else, Russia! You are a compulsive liar, and you have never given up the fight!"

"You are right." I agree. Then, I drop down onto my knees, surprising him even more. "So kill me. Prove my words, America. Prove that I am not lying. I present my physical self to you, and my land self awaits the invasion. I can no longer serve it. Take it. Take it and take my life with it."

His mouth hangs open, his gun at his side in a limp hand. He cannot do it. But he must. I look back up at him. "If I continue to live, I will only succeed in destroying more life than I should. You do not understand, America. I cannot be changed. I cannot be helped. Ever…" It is true. I know that it is.

"Russia…" America pauses, and raises the gun. "Are…are you sure…?" He asks hesitantly. I wonder why he cannot shoot me so quickly. Why he wants to make sure I am certain I wish to die, by his hand of all people. It was so fast. Only minutes ago I was sitting in that stolen government room, ready to conquer…before it came crashing down on me…

So I nod. "Da…I am sure."

The gun presses to my forehead, the end of the barrel cool in the hot smoke. "What will happen now then?" I hear him ask quietly, his eyes half hidden by the glare in his glasses lenses.

My shoulders shrug. I would not be able to say. That was when I heard another voice, this one a voice I used to crave…

"IVAN!" I cast my eyes over, seeing him running toward us. "Yao…" I mouth, watching China with a longing that I knew I must suppress. I cannot back out of this now. I will only do him more harm than I already have if I do not let America pull the trigger.

Just when I thought he would leap at me, Japan came out of seemingly nowhere and grabbed his brother around the middle, hauling him back. China kicked and shrieked a bit, eyes locked on me. "IVAN NO!"

"Yao…" I say loud enough for him to hear me. I know he does. "I am so sorry…I am…Yao, I love you…"

"_And on the wings of a dream, so far beyond reality  
All alone in desperation, now the time has gone  
Lost inside you'll never find, lost within my own mind  
Day after day this misery must go on"_

I look up at America, waiting now. Waiting for it to fade to nothing with the sharp sound of the gun. So that the world can rebuild itself in peace and not have to live in the fear that it used to. The fear that I caused.

I looked into his eyes, hearing my love in the background crying out for me, struggling against the strong arms of Japan. I would have to thank Japan one day. He knew what the good of the world required. And while killing oneself may appear selfish, my intents were far from that. I know that I am a monster; I know that I can never be helped. Some people fall too far over the cliff, and I was one of those people.

The gun presses a bit harder and I keep my eyes locked with his. After he takes in a deep breath, I hear the bang and the world disappears around me…

"_Now here we stand with their blood on our hands  
We fought so hard now can we understand  
I'll break the seal of this curse if I possibly can  
For freedom of every man"_


End file.
